18 of the best and funniest retirement jokes

Our bodies start to ache in strange places, hairs start growing out of even stranger places, and our memories start to fade. On the plus side, we get to retire and enjoy a life of leisure.

Old age is a funny thing and there’s plenty of humor to be found in it, as shown by this hilarious collection of funny retirement jokes.

18 of the best and funniest retirement jokes


Q: When is it a retiree’s bedtime?
A: Two hours after falling asleep on the sofa.

#17 Spending retirement money

I walked into my grandparents house today and much to my surprise I caught my Grandpa making love to a beautiful young blonde woman on the sofa.
“What are you doing, Grandpa!” I shouted, “You promised me you’d spend your retirement money on the surgery that you desperately needed!”
“I did,” he said, “Doesn’t your Grandma look great!?”

#16 Going to Retire

I have decided to RETIRE and live off my savings…
Though I’m not sure what I will use the second week…

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