I just got back from an amazing weekend in the Colorado wilderness. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen. I came upon a Bigfoot and was able to take several pictures of it undetected. Then later that same day, a U.F.O. landed and I got another set of amazing shots – of both the craft and the aliens.

When I got back to Loveland, I went straight to the One Hour Photo shop. Well, guess what? It turned out the whole film had been taken on national forest land that was protected from being developed.

So you just have to take my word for it. I’m sure you believe me. Well, maybe not. Let me tell you a true story instead.

A couple of years ago, my wife Maraya and I went for a walk and I stopped to blow on a cottonwood leaf. Cottonwoods are closely related to aspens and I wanted to find out if it would react the same to a blow job. (I’m Svedish, okay? Hwat do yew hwant from a straincher tryink to speak-a Inglese?) I might as well have huffed and puffed on a concrete slab fastened with titanium bolts to granite bedrock. The leaf didn’t budge a nanometer.

My then-wife asked me, “What are you doing?” Almost as though there was something odd about it. I had to tell her the obvious. “I’m trying to be the wind that makes the leaf move.” She came up, shoved me aside and blew on the same leaf herself. It quivered as though unaccustomed to ever being still.

If in history there was a time when free will got cancelled – when only one option existed for a certain individual – well, that was it. I had to say it: “They Call the Wind Maraya.”

Honest-to-God true story!

Big Sasquatch Hug!

Two kitties

Orchestra Nerves