Bar
Now bars are funny places, and it is no accident this section has relatively more jokes than others!
Where would we be without ‘this guy/nun/flea/frog walks into a bar’ ?
Pour yourself a large one and enjoy…
Best Bar Jokes
-
George Drinks
Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup […] More
-
The Sailor and the Pirate
A sailor and a pirate walk into a bar. They sit down next to each other, get to talking and their chat soon turns to their sea adventures. The sailor tells of his days fighting wars with the Navy, and the pirate tells of robbing ships and killing his enemies with the other pirates. The […] More
-
in Bar
Extra strong mint
Extra strong mint and Mars bar are having a drink in the pub. Extra strong mint says to Mars Bar, `I’m the hardest mint in town me. No one’s harder than me ‘. With that, the bar doors swing open and in walks a Halls mint. Mars bar turns around and extra strong mint is […] More
-
He can do this!
A man on a business trip is staying in a high-rise hotel with a bar on the top floor. After checking in and seeing his room, he decides to go upstairs. There’s only one other patron in the bar. The businessman orders a drink and then watches in surprise as the other patron quickly eats […] More
-
-
Oh interesting…
A blind man went to a restaurant. Menu sir? asked the owner. I’m blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order. The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man. The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, […] More
-
Cheating on a drunk
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man’s friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender […] More
-
in Bar
Your Mom’s The Best
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your mom’s the best lay in town!” Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, and the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far […] More
-
Toilet Buddies
A guy needed to pay a visit to the public toilet, so he found a public toilet that had two cubicles. One of the doors was locked. So he went into the other one, closed the door, dropped his trousers and sat down. A voice came from the cubicle next to him: “Hello mate, how […] More
-
A guy and his monkey
A guy walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. Takes a seat at the bar. The bartender asks, “what’s with the monkey?” The man replies, “don’t worry about him I pay for anything he does”. The monkey jumps on the bar, finds some peanuts and eats them. He finds Some pickled egg […] More
-
in Bar
The barman and the dog
A sheepdog walks into a bar and sits up at the bar on a barstool. The barman is very confused but decides to serve him anyway. The sheepdog orders a double scotch and the barman says, “I’m sorry for asking, but can you pay for it?” The dog says yes and reaches into his fur […] More
-
Girls night out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman […] More
-
A New Business
A new business was opening, and one of the owner’s friends sent flowers for the occasion. But when the owner read the card with the flowers, it said. “Rest in Peace”. The owner was little upset and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist said, […] More
Load More
Congratulations. You've reached the end of the internet.