The Ghost

A man who normally was a very prim, well groomed little old gentleman is in hospital for an uncomfortably embarrassing bowel complaint.

After his third day there, and doubtless as a result of the medication, and probably the hospital food, he feels a very strong desire to visit the bathroom umpteen times throughout the night.

But on each visit to the bathroom, there is no joy and he gets thoroughly embarrassed as people wake up to see him tottering to the said utility every thirty minutes or so.

After about twelve attempts he decides to ignore the next ‘knock at the door’ as he feels it will just be another waste of time and only a further cause of embarrassment to his pride.

What a mistake!

Instead of pained nothing he suddenly fills his bed with three days worth of diarrhea. Utterly embarrassed to the point of mental torture and lack of all rationale, he gathers up the foiled bedclothes and chucks them out the hospital window.

Meanwhile down below a little drunk man is staggering his way home taking a short cut through the hospital grounds when the soiled mess of bedclothes falls on top of him. Screaming and yelling he fights with whatever the hell it was that landed on him for some time, before finally casting off the heap onto the ground at his feet.

A security guard has been watching all of this and is near doubled up with suppressed laughter at the drunk’s predicament.

He nonetheless straightens his face and with the hope of getting more laughs out of him, asks the drunk what was going on?

The drunk, still looking cross-eyed down at the filthy bedclothes, says “I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost!”

A serious poker situation

Proclaiming Christmas Wishes