Q: What do you eat on the 5th of July?
A: Independence Day-old pizza.
Q: What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
A: The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
Nothing says “Happy 4th of July” like passing down to your children the tradition of drunkenly blowing off your fingers with fireworks made in China.
Q: What do John Cena and 4th of July fireworks in Alaska have in common?
A: Can’t see ’em.