Q: Why doesn’t the US knock?
A: Because freedom rings.
Most people’s 4th of july plans are really just what people do in texas everyday: eat bbq, drink beer and light shit on fire…
If the 4th of July is independence Day, why isn’t 17th February Shawshank redemption day? It was a much better film.
Q: What do you call a nuke that was launched on the 4th of July?
A: The wrong firework.