Best Children Jokes

  • Dalmatian's Duties
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    Dalmatian’s Duties

    A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster. “No,” said another. “He’s […] More

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  • Get the Minister
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    Get the Minister

    Little Johnny swallowed a coin and his mother was very much alarmed. She said to her husband, “Quick, quick send for the doctor!” “No,” replied Johnny’s father. “Not the doctor, get the minister instead!” “Oh no,” exclaimed the mother. “You think Johnny is going to die?” Father replied, “Oh, no, but our minister can get […] More

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  • Why White?
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    Why White?

    A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, “Mom, why are wedding dresses white?” The mother looks at her son and replies, “Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure.” The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father’s opinion, “Dad, why are wedding dresses white?” The […] More

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  • They're Exactly Alike
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    They’re Exactly Alike

    A family known for being extremely frugal was blessed with twin girls. Around three months a neighbor suggested that they have their pictures taken. The father thought this was a good ideal and the next time he saw the neighbor he showed him a photograph. “This is a fine picture” said the neighbor. “But this […] More

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  • I Heard It
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    I Heard It

    Little Mary talking to Little Johnny: I found twenty cents on the sidewalk. Little Johnny: That’s mine. I dropped a twenty-cent coin there this morning. Little Mary: But, what I found was two ten-cent coins! Little Johnny: That’s it. I heard it break when it hit the ground More

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  • The Best Gift
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    The Best Gift

    A woman goes to Spain to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: “Thank you, honey, what would you like me to bring for you?” The husband laughs and says: “A Spanish girl!” The woman kept quiet and […] More

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  • About coincidences
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    About coincidences

    Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, “my wife was reading a “tale of two cities,” and she gave birth to twins.” “That’s funny,” the second man remarked, “my wife was reading ‘the three musketeers’ and she gave birth to triplets.” The third man shouted, “Good God, I have […] More

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  • Baby planes

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    Baby planes

    A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?” The mother said, “Well, maybe that’s something you could ask […] More

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  • Who signed that?
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    Who signed that?

    There was one little boy in the teacher’s class who really struggled to learn. One day the teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence, and of course, he didn’t know. The teacher asked him every day for a week but still, he couldn’t give the right answer. Finally, in desperation, she called the […] More

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