Best Children Jokes

  • Two dumb fishermen
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    They Can’t See It

    Little Johnny went fishing with his dad, who had his fishing license on the back of his hat. After a while they had caught no fish when Little Johnny offered the following suggestion: “Dad, turn your hat around so the fish can see your license.” More

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  • Graduation Gift
    in

    Graduation Gift

    Upon Little Johnny’s graduation, his Aunt gave him a graduation present. Little Johnny: “Thank you so much Aunt Vera for this present.” Aunt Vera: “Oh, that’s nothing to thank me for.” Little Johnny: “That’s what I thought, but mother told me to thank you just the same.” More

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  • It's a period!
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    It’s a period!

    The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he […] More

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  • Dalmatian's Duties
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    Dalmatian’s Duties

    A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster. “No,” said another. “He’s […] More

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  • Get the Minister
    in ,

    Get the Minister

    Little Johnny swallowed a coin and his mother was very much alarmed. She said to her husband, “Quick, quick send for the doctor!” “No,” replied Johnny’s father. “Not the doctor, get the minister instead!” “Oh no,” exclaimed the mother. “You think Johnny is going to die?” Father replied, “Oh, no, but our minister can get […] More

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  • Why White?
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    Why White?

    A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, “Mom, why are wedding dresses white?” The mother looks at her son and replies, “Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure.” The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father’s opinion, “Dad, why are wedding dresses white?” The […] More

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  • They're Exactly Alike
    in ,

    They’re Exactly Alike

    A family known for being extremely frugal was blessed with twin girls. Around three months a neighbor suggested that they have their pictures taken. The father thought this was a good ideal and the next time he saw the neighbor he showed him a photograph. “This is a fine picture” said the neighbor. “But this […] More

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  • I Heard It
    in ,

    I Heard It

    Little Mary talking to Little Johnny: I found twenty cents on the sidewalk. Little Johnny: That’s mine. I dropped a twenty-cent coin there this morning. Little Mary: But, what I found was two ten-cent coins! Little Johnny: That’s it. I heard it break when it hit the ground More

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  • The Best Gift
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    The Best Gift

    A woman goes to Spain to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: “Thank you, honey, what would you like me to bring for you?” The husband laughs and says: “A Spanish girl!” The woman kept quiet and […] More

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