Best Workplace Jokes

  • Someone who is responsible
    in

    Someone who is responsible

    A man was interviewing for a job. The interviewer said, “In this job we need someone who is responsible.” “I’m the one you want,” the man replied. “At my last job every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.” More

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  • Car designers are crazy
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    Car designers are crazy

    A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn’t reach home in […] More

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  • I'll Do Better Tomorrow
    in ,

    I’ll Do Better Tomorrow

    Paul got a part-time job at the Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail. Paul separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Paul at the end of his first day. “I just want you […] More

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  • I Need That In Writing
    in

    I Need That In Writing

    “Jake,” said his employer, “you’ve done a lot of good things since you’ve been here. I’m going to increase your pay five dollars a week.” “Thanks, boss,” replied Jake. “Would you mind putting that in writing?” “Why? Don’t you trust me?” “I trust you, boss,” replied Jake. “It’s my wife. If I say I got […] More

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  • Buying Life Insurance
    in ,

    Buying Life Insurance

    The insurance agent was having quite an easy time selling Mrs. Cunningham insurance on her husband’s life. In fact, he thought it was too easy. When all the details were finalized Mrs. Cunningham casually asked, “Now if my husband should die tomorrow what would I get?” “That would depend entirely,” the insurance man replied, “on […] More

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  • Miracle worker...
    in , ,

    Miracle worker…

    Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked, humbly, “Jesus, I’ve suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam […] More

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  • That's strange...

    Hot

    in ,

    That’s strange…

    One evening, a man gave his tipsy secretary a ride home after an office party. His wife was prone to jealousy, so he didn’t mention the incident to her. Later in the evening, he was driving his wife to a restaurant when he noticed a stiletto-heeled shoe half-hidden under the passenger seat. Gripped with terror, […] More

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  • Honesty Policy
    in ,

    Honesty Policy

    Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir. Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat. More

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  • Tell me some good news
    in

    Tell me some good news

    A secretary walked into her boss’s office and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.” “Why do you always have to give me bad news?” he complained. “Tell me some good news for once.” “Alright, here’s some good news,” said the secretary. “You’re not sterile.” More

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  • The Awkward Customer
    in ,

    The Awkward Customer

    Cursed with a bald head and a wooden leg, a man is surprised to learn that he’s been invited to a fancy dress party. Deciding that he might pull it off if he wears a costume to hide his head and leg, he writes to a theatrical outfitters asking them for advice. A few days […] More

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  • Airplane Pilots
    in ,

    Airplane Pilots

    Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots’ uniforms–both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the […] More

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  • Three Construction workers
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    Three Construction workers…

    …are sitting at the top of this building site eating their lunch, the first one opens his box and says, ‘Oh God, not Peanut butter again. If I get peanut butter again I’m going to jump off here and kill myself.’ The second opens his box and says, ‘Oh God not marmite, I hate marmite, […] More

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