Best Workplace Jokes

  • Someone who is responsible
    in

    Someone who is responsible

    A man was interviewing for a job. The interviewer said, “In this job we need someone who is responsible.” “I’m the one you want,” the man replied. “At my last job every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.” More

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  • Car designers are crazy
    in ,

    Car designers are crazy

    A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn’t reach home in […] More

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  • I'll Do Better Tomorrow
    in ,

    I’ll Do Better Tomorrow

    Paul got a part-time job at the Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail. Paul separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Paul at the end of his first day. “I just want you […] More

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  • I Need That In Writing
    in

    I Need That In Writing

    “Jake,” said his employer, “you’ve done a lot of good things since you’ve been here. I’m going to increase your pay five dollars a week.” “Thanks, boss,” replied Jake. “Would you mind putting that in writing?” “Why? Don’t you trust me?” “I trust you, boss,” replied Jake. “It’s my wife. If I say I got […] More

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  • Buying Life Insurance
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    Buying Life Insurance

    The insurance agent was having quite an easy time selling Mrs. Cunningham insurance on her husband’s life. In fact, he thought it was too easy. When all the details were finalized Mrs. Cunningham casually asked, “Now if my husband should die tomorrow what would I get?” “That would depend entirely,” the insurance man replied, “on […] More

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  • Miracle worker...
    in , ,

    Miracle worker…

    Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked, humbly, “Jesus, I’ve suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam […] More

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  • That's strange...
    in ,

    That’s strange…

    One evening, a man gave his tipsy secretary a ride home after an office party. His wife was prone to jealousy, so he didn’t mention the incident to her. Later in the evening, he was driving his wife to a restaurant when he noticed a stiletto-heeled shoe half-hidden under the passenger seat. Gripped with terror, […] More

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  • Honesty Policy
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    Honesty Policy

    Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir. Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat. More

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  • Tell me some good news
    in

    Tell me some good news

    A secretary walked into her boss’s office and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.” “Why do you always have to give me bad news?” he complained. “Tell me some good news for once.” “Alright, here’s some good news,” said the secretary. “You’re not sterile.” More

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  • What pregnant means?
    in , ,

    What pregnant means?

    “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked. “Sure,” said the young student confidently. “Means carrying a child.” More

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  • dinosaur bones
    in , ,

    An awfully exact number

    Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asked the guard, “Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?” The guard replied, “They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.” “That’s an awfully exact number,” says the tourist. “How do you […] More

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  • He can do this! superman
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    He can do this!

    A man on a business trip is staying in a high-rise hotel with a bar on the top floor. After checking in and seeing his room, he decides to go upstairs. There’s only one other patron in the bar. The businessman orders a drink and then watches in surprise as the other patron quickly eats […] More

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