Best Workplace Jokes

  • Miracle worker...
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    Miracle worker…

    Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked, humbly, “Jesus, I’ve suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam […] More

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  • That's strange...
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    That’s strange…

    One evening, a man gave his tipsy secretary a ride home after an office party. His wife was prone to jealousy, so he didn’t mention the incident to her. Later in the evening, he was driving his wife to a restaurant when he noticed a stiletto-heeled shoe half-hidden under the passenger seat. Gripped with terror, […] More

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  • Honesty Policy
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    Honesty Policy

    Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir. Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat. More

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  • Tell me some good news
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    Tell me some good news

    A secretary walked into her boss’s office and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.” “Why do you always have to give me bad news?” he complained. “Tell me some good news for once.” “Alright, here’s some good news,” said the secretary. “You’re not sterile.” More

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  • What pregnant means?
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    What pregnant means?

    “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked. “Sure,” said the young student confidently. “Means carrying a child.” More

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  • dinosaur bones
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    An awfully exact number

    Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asked the guard, “Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?” The guard replied, “They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.” “That’s an awfully exact number,” says the tourist. “How do you […] More

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  • He can do this! superman
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    He can do this!

    A man on a business trip is staying in a high-rise hotel with a bar on the top floor. After checking in and seeing his room, he decides to go upstairs. There’s only one other patron in the bar. The businessman orders a drink and then watches in surprise as the other patron quickly eats […] More

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  • Low Bridge overhead
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    Low Bridge overhead

    A truck driver was driving along the freeway saw a sign that read, ‘Low Bridge overhead’ but, before he could stop, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police officer approaches, puts his hands on his hips, and says, “Got stuck […] More

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  • Turn signal...
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    Turn signal…

    On a recent flight I was on, this elderly woman kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant. “I’m sorry to bother you,” she said, “but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator […] More

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  • The Awkward Customer
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    The Awkward Customer

    Cursed with a bald head and a wooden leg, a man is surprised to learn that he’s been invited to a fancy dress party. Deciding that he might pull it off if he wears a costume to hide his head and leg, he writes to a theatrical outfitters asking them for advice. A few days […] More

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  • Airplane Pilots
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    Airplane Pilots

    Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots’ uniforms–both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the […] More

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