Best Workplace Jokes

  • Someone who is responsible
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    Someone who is responsible

    A man was interviewing for a job. The interviewer said, “In this job we need someone who is responsible.” “I’m the one you want,” the man replied. “At my last job every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.” More

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  • Car designers are crazy
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    Car designers are crazy

    A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn’t reach home in […] More

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  • Honesty Policy
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    Honesty Policy

    Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir. Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat. More

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  • Tell me some good news
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    Tell me some good news

    A secretary walked into her boss’s office and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.” “Why do you always have to give me bad news?” he complained. “Tell me some good news for once.” “Alright, here’s some good news,” said the secretary. “You’re not sterile.” More

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  • The Awkward Customer
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    The Awkward Customer

    Cursed with a bald head and a wooden leg, a man is surprised to learn that he’s been invited to a fancy dress party. Deciding that he might pull it off if he wears a costume to hide his head and leg, he writes to a theatrical outfitters asking them for advice. A few days […] More

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  • Airplane Pilots
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    Airplane Pilots

    Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots’ uniforms–both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the […] More

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  • Three Construction workers
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    Three Construction workers…

    …are sitting at the top of this building site eating their lunch, the first one opens his box and says, ‘Oh God, not Peanut butter again. If I get peanut butter again I’m going to jump off here and kill myself.’ The second opens his box and says, ‘Oh God not marmite, I hate marmite, […] More

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  • Room Service
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    Room Service

    There was a hotel that was widely known for having room service that could provide anything a person could want. A traveler there checked in and immediately called room service. He said ” I want to be brought to my room, a young virgin between the ages of eighteen and nineteen with blonde hair and […] More

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  • Shave Ball
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    Shave Ball

    A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.” The […] More

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  • Hair cut competition
    in

    Hair cut competition

    A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place. They put up a big bold sign which read: “WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!” Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign: “WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS” More

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  • Parachute Jumping

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    Parachute Jumping

    On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet. The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?” “That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you […] More

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  • The barber and the boy
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    The barber and the boy

    A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, […] More

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