Doctor
Take away the doctor jokes and you have some pretty good situations for the medical professions to be the natural home of needing to have a laugh.
We all worry about our health, so what best way to deal with that is a laugh.
After all, laughter IS the best medicine!
Latest Jokes
Best Doctor Jokes
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What kind of filling?
A little boy called Ben was taken to the dentist. Examination revealed that Ben had a cavity, which needed filling. “Now, young man,” asked the dentist, “what kind of filling would you like for that tooth, amalgam or composite?” “I would prefer chocolate, please,” replied Ben. More
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in Doctor
What’s The Difference
What’s the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist? If you say, ‘I hate my mother’, a psychiatrist will ask, “Why do you say that?” Whereas a psychologist will say, “Thank you for sharing that with us.” More
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After waiting…
The doctor’s office was crowded as usual, but the doctor was moving at his usual snail’s pace. After waiting two hours, an old man slowly stood up and started walking toward the door. “Where are you going?” the receptionist called out. “Well,” he said, “I figured I’d go home and die a natural death.” More
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in Doctor
Strict Pizza Diet
A man wakes up and finds himself in a hospital room, one with only himself in it. He has no recollection of how he got there. While pondering it, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it. A doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man, “I have really bad news. You’re […] More
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Eighty-eight
A woman went to her new doctor for a checkup. He turned out to be absolutely gorgeous! He told her he was going to put his hand on her back and he wanted her to say “Eighty-eight.” “Eighty-eight,” she purred. “Good. Now I’m going to put my hand on your throat and I want you […] More
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in Doctor
Differences
A surgeon was checking on a patient who had a hernia operation three days before. The doctor asked the man why he had not gotten out of bed. “I hurt,” the man said. “You don’t know how it feels.” “I know exactly how it feels,” the doctor said. “I had the same procedure last month, […] More
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in Doctor
A little more expensive
“This tooth will be difficult to remove,” the dentist told his patient. “I think you should have an anesthetic even though it will be a little more expensive.” “OK,” agreed the patient and began feeling in his pocket for his money. “You don’t need to pay me yet,” said the dentist. “I know,” replied the […] More
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in Doctor
A Mental Hospital
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him into his office. “Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you’re ready to go home. I’m only […] More
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in Doctor
Very stressful job
Nurse: Your blood pressure is amazingly high. Is your job very stressful? Patient: Well, I work at a petting zoo. Nurse: That seems easy enough. Patient: I determine which animals are too vicious to be petted. More
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in Doctor
Why are you so excited?
“Why are you so excited?” the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. “But doc, this is my first operation.” “Really? It’s mine too, and I am not excited at all.” More
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Not older…just better….
For his wife’s birthday, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: “You are not getting older, You are getting better.” When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top, and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.” It wasn’t until the good doctor […] More
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All you need is a prescription
A woman walks into a pharmacy, strolls over to the counter, and catches the pharmacist’s attention. “Can I please get some arsenic?” she asks. “Arsenic? What do you want arsenic for?” asks the pharmacist. “It’s for my husband,” she replies. “Your husband?” exclaims the pharmacist, “I hope you don’t mean what I think you mean!” […] More
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