Best Random Jokes

  • Saving A Shirt
    in

    Saving A Shirt

    MAN: Have you finished ironing my silk shirt? BUTLER: Yes, sir. MAN: Then please bring it here. I have to get dressed! BUTLER: Sir, I was ironing and someone knocked on the door. I went to open it and when I came back I could smell something burning… MAN: Don’t tell me you’ve burnt my […] More

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  • Can't Trust the Bookkeeper
    in

    Can’t Trust the Bookkeeper

    A Mafia Boss finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of $10 million dollars. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Marco would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court. When the Boss goes to confront […] More

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  • An Awesome Time
    in

    An Awesome Time

    A young man showed up to his date’s house and told her they were going to have “an awesome time” that evening. “What are we doing?” she asked. “I got three tickets to a concert.” “Why would we need three tickets?” his date asked. “The tickets are for your parents and sister.” More

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  • Buying Life Insurance
    in ,

    Buying Life Insurance

    The insurance agent was having quite an easy time selling Mrs. Cunningham insurance on her husband’s life. In fact, he thought it was too easy. When all the details were finalized Mrs. Cunningham casually asked, “Now if my husband should die tomorrow what would I get?” “That would depend entirely,” the insurance man replied, “on […] More

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  • Hits It Every Time
    in ,

    Hits It Every Time

    At a local gun show, two guys were bragging about their wife’s abilities. “My wife’s a fine shot. She can hit a dollar every time.” “That’s nothing. My wife goes through my trousers and never misses a dime.” More

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  • Tell him!
    in

    Tell him!

    A little boy comes down for breakfast and his mother asks if he had done his chores. “Not yet,” says the little boy. His mother tells him that until he completes them, he won’t be getting any breakfast. Well, he’s a little angry, so he goes to feed the chickens and kicks one. He goes […] More

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  • Well, what's the name?
    in ,

    Well, what’s the name?

    A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, “Ma’am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your […] More

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  • Two buddies were sharing drink
    in ,

    Two buddies were sharing drink

    Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. “Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?” asked the one. “Well, not exactly.” his friend replied, “she’s more into the trick dog aspect of it.” “Oh, I see, kinky, huh?” “Well, not exactly – I sit up and beg and she rolls over […] More

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  • Mystery...???
    in

    Mystery…???

    A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, “This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I’ll give you a handsome tip.” The usher moves him into the second row, […] More

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  • Miracle worker...
    in , ,

    Miracle worker…

    Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked, humbly, “Jesus, I’ve suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam […] More

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