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  • Miracle worker...
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    Miracle worker…

    Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked, humbly, “Jesus, I’ve suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam […] More

  • Get the Minister
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    Get the Minister

    Little Johnny swallowed a coin and his mother was very much alarmed. She said to her husband, “Quick, quick send for the doctor!” “No,” replied Johnny’s father. “Not the doctor, get the minister instead!” “Oh no,” exclaimed the mother. “You think Johnny is going to die?” Father replied, “Oh, no, but our minister can get […] More

  • Pious Parrots
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    Pious Parrots

    One day a woman approached her parish priest for advice. “Father, I have two female parrots at home. I’m so distraught I don’t know what to do. They say such horrible things!“ “What do they say?“ the priest asks. “Well, much of it shouldn’t be repeated, but to give you the idea, they say things […] More

  • The 4th July Picnic
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    The 4th July Picnic

    A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at Albuquerque’s annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. ‘This baked ham is really delicious,’ the priest teased the rabbi. ‘You really ought to try it. I know it’s against your religion, but I can’t understand why such a wonderful food should […] More

  • Choose three hymns
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    Choose three hymns

    A priest conducts a service in a church “The person who puts the most in the church collection box can choose three hymns” he says The collection box comes back to him after being filled up and he finds that someone has donated a thousand pounds “who has donated a thousand pounds?” he asks. A […] More

  • The Lord is out there too
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    The Lord is out there too

    One afternoon a little boy was playing outdoors. He used his mother’s broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting dark. He left the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning up the kitchen when she realized that her broom was missing. She asked the little boy about […] More

  • I've got a few suggestions
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    I’ve got a few suggestions

    A newly ordained priest is nervous about hearing confessions and asks an older priest to observe one of his sessions to give him some tips. After a few minutes of listening, the old priest suggests that they have a word. “I’ve got a few suggestions,” he says. “Try folding your arms over your chest and […] More

  • The post office and letter to God
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    The post office and letter to God

    There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an […] More

  • Confessional
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    Confessional

    Upon entering the confessional, a young woman admitted to the priest, “Last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me … seven times!” The priest thought long and hard, then said, “Take seven lemons and squeeze them into a glass, then drink it.” “Will this cleanse me of my sins?” the young woman asked. […] More

  • Church Squirrels
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    Church Squirrels

    In a small town there were three churches. Recently, the grounds had become overrun with squirrels. The three churches (Methodist, Presbyterian, and Catholic) decided to hold a small meeting regarding what they could do to get rid of the squirrels. The Methodists show up and say “We’ve thought about it and if the grounds are […] More

  • Three Construction workers
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    Three Construction workers…

    …are sitting at the top of this building site eating their lunch, the first one opens his box and says, ‘Oh God, not Peanut butter again. If I get peanut butter again I’m going to jump off here and kill myself.’ The second opens his box and says, ‘Oh God not marmite, I hate marmite, […] More

  • God Plays Golf
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    God Plays Golf

    Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound. Next, Jesus […] More

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