Talk to the animals

A farmer is going about his business and is irritated to see this hippy type of fellow watching him.

“Oi – gerroffmoilan!” shouts the farmer.

The hippy type ambles up

“Hey, cool man, cool. Just taking in this lovely day. Hey, nice dog, do you mind if I speak with him?”

The farmer clearly thinks this guy had one spliff too many.

Farmer: Dogs don’t talk!

Hippy: Hey dog, howzit goin’

Dog: Hey man, great! Long time since I got a chance to talk!

[Farmer wears a look of total disbelief!]

Hippy: So, this your master, how does he treat you?

Dog: Oh, he’s fair enough I suppose. Feeds me regularly, doesn’t overwork me too much, takes me down the river once a week. ‘S good.

Hippy: Cool. Hey, is that your horse over there, can I talk to him

Farmer: Horses don’t talk!

Hippy: Hey horse, how’s it hangin’?

Hippy & Horse: [Both laugh]

Hippy: So, this your owner? How does he treat you?

Horse: Oh fair, and many thanks for asking. He feeds me well, oats and stuff, rubs me down regularly to keep the old coat in good condition, and I got my own lovely meadow to wander about in. He’s good to me I’d say!

[Farmer now gobsmacked!]

Hippy: Hey, is that your sheep over their, kin I talk to her?

Farmer: The sheep’s a liar!

Won’t do that again!

Bad dog